Kicking the Habit

As I write this I am amazed at the quiet in the house. Amazed because tonight is night three that we are "paci"-free.

I have been dreading this event because Anna has been a pacifier baby from day one. Like all good things, the paci has been both a blessing and a curse. I remember well the 3-week period when Anna would fall blissfully asleep with the paci and then wake up wailing 5-10 minutes later when it fell out of her mouth. This occurred for hours on end. Nerves were frazzled.

I remember practically jumping for joy on the day Anna successfully picked-up her paci and manuevered it into her mouth on her own and soothed herself to back to sleep. The next day we scattered seven pacifiers around her crib and never looked back.

At the beginning we let her have the pacifier pretty much all the time (we followed "The Happiest Baby on the Block's" 5 S's to a T!). Eventually we started limiting it to bedtime only, but were fairly lackadaisical about it (especially daddy!).

When we were at the beach a few weeks ago, I knew the paci's days were numbered because Anna started biting through the tips, creating a real choking concern. We had to throw purple paci away, an act which horrified Anna. She kept going to the trash can and trying to dig purple out. Saying goodbye to purple put the paci biting into submission (for a few weeks). Then, earlier this week, the biting returned and in quick succession we had to trash pink and two greens (which I actually kept and are pictured above...you can see the bite marks), leaving us with one lone soldier.

A pivotal decision loomed - either buy new pacis and postpone the inevitable, or bite the bullet. After much internal deliberation and discussion with Jason (who kept saying I was WAY overthinking this but he would support whatever I decided to do but could I please wait until he was traveling to take away the paci...(uh, no, mister)), I woke up Saturday with a determined outlook. It was time.

After the first paci biting incident in Cape Cod, we began talking to Anna about giving the pacis to "the babies" soon. A toddler's mind fascintes me daily, it is amazing how much they understand (everything!). It quickly became clear that Anna was grasping and processing the situation because she brought it up often on her own saying, "Paci...bite...away...babies." I wish I could have captured the serious look on her face each time she said this.

So, on Saturday, Anna took her last nap with a paci. When she woke, I told her it was time to give the pacis to the babies. And she was game. Sort of. She reluctantly put her paci in the bag I handed to her but then got very upset when I wouldn't let her take it out. When we headed outside, in the pouring rain, to put the bag in the mailbox so the mailman could take the paci to "the babies", I felt like the worst, meanest person in the world. After I pried the bag out of her deathgrip, placed it in the mailbox and closed the door, I could barely hold Anna because she was protesting so wildly, demanding we get the paci from the mailbox.

Once inside, we offered her ice cream, which she REFUSED! This drove home the magnitude of paci-removal in Anna's world because she never passes on ice cream. Eventually she accepted a popsicle, but she was the saddest popsicle-eating baby I have ever seen.

At that point I almost retrieved the paci, but then came to my senses when Jason reminded me that it would never be easy an easy task. I likened the situation to that of a heroin addict going cold turkey. He said I was exaggerating. Darn his rational thinking.

In order to further soften the paci-removal blow, I had prepared a surprise for Anna - her first real doll and a stroller. When she finished her popsicle we unveiled the doll and the smile on her face literally lit up the room. Paci forgotten, baby doll and stroller save the day.

I was dreading putting Anna down for bed that night, but she surprised me by only asking for the paci once and going to bed with no protests. Sunday she asked for the paci a few times during the day, but went to bed easily. She did have one crying jag late Sunday night, but never asked for the paci, so who knows...

Which brings me to tonight. Aside from requesting a few extra stories and to have her baby in bed with her, all went as usual. I'm not ready to declare total victory on the pacifier transition, but I have high hopes that we'll get through with no major incidents.

As you can see from the above pictures, the pacifier was by no means Anna's only comfort item (Bunny is numero uno, followed by an army of other pals, The Guys included)...so maybe she wasn't nearly as dependent on it as I thought. Her nanny said Anna never asked for the paci today but she did overhear her talking to herself at one point. She said, "Paci. No. All gone."

How can a baby be so grown up?